Another One Bites The Dust

Remember the phonograph? What about that new John Phillips Sousa joint … it's hot, right?

Come on now, that's ridiculous! No one has listened to a phonograph in decades. John Philip Sousa died in 1932! How could you possibly remember such arcane technology and outdated artists? Well folks, get ready to add one more to the list … because according to reports, the record industry will no longer produce compact discs (or “CDs” if you're one of the hip kids) after 2012. Like most notable technological achievements, there are good and bad sides to this. Understandably, I'm going to focus on the bad side of it. Because... well, because it's a lot more fun to complain about them young kids and their newfangled gizmos and how they're all ruining our good ol' way of life.

Alright, everyone knows what a CD is. I can remember getting my first one (Hootie & The Blowfish, thank you very much), and marveling at the sound quality, the ability to jump between tracks instantly and the pure, unadulterated nerdiness of having digital information stored on a disc that I could transfer at will to my computer or portable MP3 player or just listen to on my boombox. Yeah, I had a boombox, and it was awesome! Well, those days are gone. No more going to the store and picking up an album, then doing what I want with it. The music is still available, sure, but now it will only be in the digital format – and that means that the record companies and services like iTunes can completely control it. And you know, that's what I really need in my life: multinational corporations controlling larger sections of it. Plus, I can't burn a mix CD anymore. How are we supposed to woo one another? Am I going to have to anonymously give someone a “Mix iPod” now? Seems so … mechanical.

Another thing that will undoubtedly suffer is the production of consistent and cohesive albums. Kids, ask your parents about the golden era of music when artists recorded a series of connected and linear songs and put them all together with the intention of someone listening to all of them. Those days are long gone. We live in the era of singles. We don't judge a record by how good it is, we judge it by how many hits are on there. That's great for the 3-minute madness of Ke$ha, but garbage for anyone wanting a full listening experience. Then again, that should cut way back on the number of songs about “Lord Of The Rings.”

Not only will this development drastically affect how we listen to albums; it's going to change the way artists conceive, produce and release them. How often do you think a record company is going to pony up the cash to send Pitbull into the studio for five months to just “see what happens” and then try to capture and bottle that particular magic? Yeeeaaaaahhhhh... no. People like the afformentioned Ke$ha won't notice the difference anyway, I'm guessing. But what about musicians like Radiohead? I don't think the singles market is really their bag. Are we heading toward doing away with the album altogether? Am I asking far-reaching and speculative questions in a tone of mock-shock?

Where do we go from here? If there are no more CDs, then there are no more CDs. Fine, I get that, and I'm sure the world will go on about its business. However, I, for one, am going to need someone to blame for this seismic shift in my life. I love music. I love my CDs, just like I loved my tapes before. I even love my iPod (with the songs I put on there). So... I'm going to blame Steve Jobs.

That's right, I'm blaming a technological genius and undisputed innovator. As was his style, I'm sure he was simply looking ahead to what he knew would happen. After surveying the undeniably bleak landscape of popular music, the dearth of quality albums and the ever-growing trend toward popular convenience and ease-of-use with our gadgets, Jobs simply saw the writing on the wall. The concept of iTunes was genius when it started, and even more so now. But it's still a change from the old way of doing things. The marketplace has shifted, just as surely as people love to buy on Amazon, rather than get out of their house. But while everyone loves saving a few bucks buying online, no one wants to see Mom and Pop go out of business. Now, what to do with these shelves full of Korn CDs.