Bridesmaid Dress Dos & Don'ts

The wedding day definitely centers around the bride. Unfortunately, some bridesmaid dresses cannot help but draw undesired attention that should be directed at the ceremony. But with some great tips from the experts, most bridesmaid dress faux pas and disasters can be avoided. Tyler native and emerging fashion/costume designer Lauren Perdue dishes on the dos and don’ts when it comes to bridesmaid dresses. And Shelby Burkett, owner of Mary V’s by Shelby, adds her tips learned from the retail business and her experience as a recurring bridesmaid. They dish on bridesmaid dresses of all kinds, from the underwhelming to the alarming! Buckle up. It’s time to discuss the good, the bad and the … um, well, there’s no way to put it delicately – some are pretty awful.

1. Do Consider the Big Picture

There is no great leading role without a great supporting cast. “If you want your day to be spectacular, you have to think of the other people in the ceremony,” Perdue instructs. So, what does “consider the big picture” mean?

Everything in the ceremony should be cohesive and on the same level of formality – including bridesmaid dresses. Their dresses should fit the venue and be in line with the other wedding attire. Burkett adds, “You are not going to want to do a heavy, long dress if you have an outdoor wedding. You want something that looks more like a garden dress. Formality, I think, is very important.”

2. Don't Ignore Comfort

In this case, “uncomfortable” means making the bridesmaids feel self-conscious. Perdue says she has seen it all. “It takes away from the bride if one of the bridesmaids has to stand up there and constantly adjust her straps – or if her cleavage is hanging out,” Perdue attests. “If they’re uncomfortable in the dress, they’re going to look awkward in the pictures. It doesn’t just show with them pulling on a dress … it shows in their face,” Burkett explains. Finding dresses that will flatter each bridesmaid will make them more comfortable. Perdue suggests buying a beautiful fabric and having different dress styles made from the fabric. Sites such as dressbydesign.com offer custom dress designs based on styles that flatter different body shapes. Burkett says letting bridesmaids choose their own dress in a specific color that flatters their figure also works well.

3. Do Enforce Proper Undergarments

While the Texas heat is enough to make some bridesmaids veto undergarments altogether, wearing the wrong type of undergarment is just as catastrophic. Warning: Improper undergarments will show in the wedding photos! The day of the wedding is too late to fix undergarment issues. Purdue recalls, “I went to one wedding where you could see the girl’s yellow underwear under her black and white dress and a slip would have fixed that so quickly …”

Furthermore, if Giorgio Armani thinks undergarments are important enough to sew into red-carpet gowns, you should probably wear one too. “That’s how important it is to create that silhouette, to wear the proper foundation garments,” Perdue says. Ultimately, the bridesmaids will feel more comfortable in quality undergarments. “They make wonderful undergarments that are seamless and quite airy,” Burkett informs. Spanx are one such garment – and can typically be found under most red-carpet gowns. (FYI: Spanx also has a line for men to tone the torso.) However, Burkett suggests bridesmaid dresses that don’t require a head-to-toe armor of Spanx.

4. Do Regulate Bridesmaid's Shoes

“No bride or bridesmaid should stand in the front of the church in flip flops – that’s not okay,” Perdue implored. “Everything should be on a scale of formality based on the location, the bride’s dress, even what the groom and his party are wearing.” This includes shoes. The bridesmaids should run their shoe selection by the bride. To simplify, Perdue suggests: black, silver, nude and gold.

Burkett goes a step further and says for the bride to specify what type of shoe. “In addition to the color, I think you need to say whether it’s a clunky shoe or whether it’s a soft, feminine shoe,” she says. “You don’t want a bridesmaid showing up in Pam Anderson heels.”

5. Don't Upstage The Bride

Too much jewelry or big necklaces can detract attention from the bride. Perdue suggests for bridesmaids to all wear the same jewelry or something specific like pearls or diamond studs. Perdue suggests, “A good way for the bride to avoid all this is to give them jewelry as a gift. It’s very common and accepted.” Facial piercings are another don

’t. For some types of weddings, piercings may be fitting, but Burkett makes a valid point: “A wedding is a formal event. And for anything formal, I think you need to be clean. That goes for any piercings on your face or tongue. You need to keep those things in mind.”

6. Don't Wear White

This is somewhat of a debate, but Perdue says if you are not the bride it is rude to wear white. This usually includes the bridal party, but it definitely includes guests. “It may be hard to get around, especially in the summer,” she remarked. “But still, don’t do it. It’s not your day.”

Black, however, is presently appropriate for weddings. “There was a time when you didn’t wear black to a wedding,” Burkett shared. “But black is fine. And no, it isn’t appropriate to wear white to a wedding.”

7. Do Make Alterations

This often goes wrong one of two ways. One: Bridesmaids dresses should not be too short. “You want to keep them tasteful … knee length or lower,” Perdue explained. Two: Bridesmaids dresses should not be longer than the bride’s. Burkett partially agrees. “Yes, if the bride is wearing a short dress the bridesmaid dresses should also be short, but don’t think they have to come to the knee though,” she offered. “I have seen some really cute bridesmaids dresses that have been shorter (but not overly short).” To accommodate leggy bridesmaids, check hems of dresses to see if they can be let out or altered for a uniform length.

8. Do Cover Up Cleavage

A wedding is not the time or place for front or side cleavage – especially with bridesmaid dresses. The ever popular strapless dress may look appropriate on one bridesmaid and highly inappropriate on another. Burkett says to look at what will be most appropriate on all the bridesmaids. A quick solution for V-neck dresses: purchase extra fabric to add inserts for the well-endowed bridesmaids. Perdue says to remember (especially with cleavage), “If you wouldn’t wear it to a funeral, then you probably shouldn’t wear it to a wedding!” And for brides in the midst of bridesmaid dress shopping, Burkett says don’t pick a dress because you think the bridesmaids will wear it again. “Ninety-nine point nine percent of the time they will never put it on again … but that’s OK.”