How To Ruin A First Date

Embarrassing moments, awkward silences, innapropriate jokes – some of the worst dates make for the best stories.

I Believe The Children Are Our Future...

Lead them well... and stop buying them toys and clothes that would have gotten them thrown in jail for indencency 50 years ago.

For Your Health!

We're still under the sun, right? I mean...

The Tumbling Dice

Alright, my lawyers have instructed me to add a disclaimer at the beginning of this article, so let’s get that out of the way and be clear about this from the outset: Before you read any further, you guys need to know that I do not place

Another One Bites The Dust

Remember the phonograph? What about that new John Phillips Sousa joint … it's hot, right?

All Work, No Play

I want your kids to get dirty.

Vacation Desperation

Dear friends who have spent this summer lounging on beaches, strolling over the many decks of a luxury liner or gazing a beautiful works of art in Europe's most prestigious museums: I really wish you would all just shut up for a minute.

Savings To The MAXX!

I'm not sure if you noticed beyond the exclusive use of capital letters, but there are two Xs, as well as an exclamation point in the title of this article.

Primpin' Ain't Easy

In the days of ancient Greece, Plato and Aristotle would sit and talk for hours in the shade at the Parthenon – which was sort of the back patio of its day, if you think about it.

Sagittarius-ly?

Look deep into my eyes and I will foretell your future... Wait, no, I mean … look into this crystal ball and it will tell your fortune.